“It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a child with autism to raise the consciousness of the village.” – Coach Elaine Hall
Being a big sister is something that I truly cherish. Growing up my younger brother Ryan was diagnosed with Autism. As a child, it was hard to understand how my wonderful baby brother could be diagnosed with this condition. Many times I was left confused and resentful. As I got older, my outlook on the situation evolved as my understanding of Autism grew. Ryan has taught me how to love and the importance of patience. He has touched so many people's lives, and if you get the chance to know him, you'll understand just how amazing he is.
Today I'm sharing a few ways Ryan has helped shaped the person I am today, and how his love changed my life forever.
I didn't know it then, but at the age of five Ryan helped push me to be the leader I am today. Leadership is something that cannot be taught, you simply just have to do it. My little brother required a different type of attention than I needed as a child. Growing up my father was active duty military. My mom had to juggle working full-time, running a household, and raising two children, while my dad was out to sea. There were many times I had to step up and assist my mom and little brother. I definitely grew up quickly, and had to learn how to take care of basic household responsibilities. It became second nature, and I quickly dove into the role. This quality became one of the many things I possessed at an early age.
Ryan sees the world in a completely differently than everyone else. He taught me another key quality: perspective. There have been many times in our childhood where I may be overwhelmed or freak out in a particular situation, whereas Ryan would be completely at peace. Ryan's ability to be courageous in a world where they do not always accommodate his needs is absolutely humbling. This has helped me realize that some of the small trivial matters in life are not even worth maximizing. His ability to see the glass half full, has challenged me to see the good in every situation.
I quickly learned as a child that the world did not revolve around me. In addition to gaining the perspective quality, I became extremely self-less. Ryan taught me at an early age to give and think about other's feelings. I learned how to be empathetic and realize that there was a bigger picture in many situations. My parents were phenomenal in providing balance in our home. They ensured that Ryan and I never wanted for anything. I'm fortunate to have a family that always put each other's needs first no matter what the situation.
Communication was something my brother and I had to develop in our own special way. Ryan didn't speak for almost a decade. He would communicate by pointing, making sounds, hugs, or touching my hand or arm. Words were never something we really bonded over. It was quite normal for us to just look at one another and smile. He would give me a look or a hug and that would be it for us. My non-verbal cues quickly heightened as a child. I became very aware of how someone was feeling versus what was actually being said. Even today, Ryan and I do not hold long conversations. He is very matter of fact and gets straight to the point. Yet, there are still many times Ryan will touch my arm as a way of letting me know that he is doing just fine.
Being a big sister is something that I absolutely love. I truly believe siblings are a huge blessing. Ryan has taught me so many things in 27 years. I'm a better sister, daughter, granddaughter, and wife because of his love and enlightenment. A lot of who I am is because of him, and for that I'm super grateful.
With all of that being said, Ryan is beyond special, he's exceptional.
XO, Analise