Matron of Honor Manual

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus

Last Spring, my bestie got the surprise of her life, when her boyfriend proposed to her. A few days before the proposal, Alisha's now husband reached out and told me his big plan! Hearing the news literally made my heart melt. He knew the importance of including me, her sister, and of course Alisha's mom in the process. I was super excited that this major moment was about to happen in my bestie's life! Most importantly, I was thrilled that I was a part of this milestone. Soon after the engagement Alisha asked me to be her Matron of Honor along with her older sister. It was an easy "Yes" for me. Alisha was my Maid of Honor a few months prior in my wedding. Being able to stand by Alisha's side, and watch her shine on her big day was something I would not miss. On October 7, 2017 I stood by my best friend, and watched her marry her new best friend. It was truly a special moment. 

While being someone's Maid or Matron of Honor is serious hard work, it can be very rewarding and a lot of fun! Today I'll be sharing some tips and characteristics one should possess while fulfilling this very important role.

1. Support the Bride & Groom. As a MOH not only are you standing next to the bride on the big day, but you are supporting her decision to marry her beau. It is super key that you support and protect both of them. They will be very busy planning one of the best days of their lives. Be sure to help them both, whether it is giving them a pep talk or offering to search for vendors on their behalf. Whenever Alisha started her search for vendors I gave her my feedback. Also, I provided her my personal wedding spreadsheet that was created during my engagement. She got super lucky because we both got married in neighboring cities! 
2. Be patient and flexible. While this may be easier said than done, know that things may not happen as quickly or how you may like it. Always, be patient with the bride. She will be making critical decisions. Let her take the time to make plans, and if you see that she's overwhelmed help make decisions together. 
3. Stay organized. As the Bride starts making vendor selections create a list of contacts. Once she decides on her shower date, start researching venues and getting a guest list together. Do everything in your power to try and make things easier for her. It will be a lot of work, but it will be worth it to have a central repository of those important items and info she will need.
4. Budget & save your money. This is a big one, and is a topic that sometimes isn't always addressed. The moment I knew that I'd be in the bridal party, I started setting aside money for the upcoming purchases. Lucky for me, Alisha was very understanding about how the bridal party spent our money. We were able to select our own dresses and shoes within our price range - which was awesome. Also, she was super flexible and upfront with costs in regards to her wedding. 
5. Plan ahead. As we began to plan the big day, I started early with planning my time off for work. Also, the bridal party met bi-weekly, to conduct conference calls about upcoming events. This really helped all of the ladies stay on target! We lived all across the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) area.
6. Be honest. If something is bothering you or you have concerns, be honest with the bride-to be. She is your bestie at the end of the day, and it's very important to always communicate. 

What are some ways your MOH helped you on your big day? Also, if you were a MOH what are some things you would recommend to a newly appointed MOH?

XO, Analise

Photo Credit: Ward Photography

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Fresh Start

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something." Neil Gaiman

As a New Year begins, it is very important to take a step back and reflect. This year has been a whirlwind for me, but I've had some amazing "peaks" along the way.

First, G and I both started brand new jobs in the first quarter of the year. Then, we celebrated one year of marriage ... and still going strong.

My family had amazing moments as well. Also, my beautiful mother, graduated from Law School this year at Regent University. She is without a doubt the smartest and strongest woman I know. 

I've celebrated milestones with my friends. Alisha got married to an amazing man. We have known each other since undergrad at UVA. I was fortunate and honored to serve as her Matron of Honor in their wedding. Tiffany, was accepted into graduate school and bought a wonderful new home.

My achievement was passing the Human Capital Strategist certification exam right before Thanksgiving. Last but certainly not least, I launched this blog - The Classy Cavalier. I'll be honest, it took several encouraging conversations with a few family members and close friends for me to launch this site, but I'm so glad that I did. Also, the immense amount of support from you all has been wonderful - thank you.

While, there were many "peaks" this year, a few "pits" occurred as well. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, G ruptured his Achilles tendon in his right foot. The injury definitely shifted things in the Gregory household. We are super blessed that our friends and family have been supportive during this time. G is quickly on the road to recovery, and doing so well in physical therapy. I married a strong man, and for that I'm very grateful. If anything, this situation made us stronger, and more in love with each other. 

When approaching a New Year, I set new goals and prioritize them - it's something I've always done. I'm a planner by nature. Below I'm giving ways on how I start the upcoming year fresh, and how to stay on track no matter what "peaks and pits" come your way.

1. Get organized. If you know me very well, I'm all about organization. In fact, I am a true neat freak. It's very important for me to not have a lot of clutter. My motto is, "If my home is cluttered, then my brain is cluttered." It is so essential to get things organized to ensure your vision is clear. Whether it is organizing your closet, home, calendar, or whatever it may be, start clearing out the old, and bringing in the new. Tip: Donate old appliances or clothes! Once Christmas ends and I get new items, whatever is gently used I donate to the Goodwill or Salvation Army near my home. You can also schedule pickup times with these organizations from your home!
2. Speak your dreams into existence and follow through. One of my dreams this year was to start tapping into my creative outlet in some way. Once, I graduated from undergrad in 2011, I've been laser focused on my career, and trying to break that glass ceiling. I've been in Corporate America for about 6 years now. While I'm very fortunate the professional opportunities I've been afforded ... my creativity has been extremely limited. The Classy Cavalier helps me create an outlet I so desperately need. I'm trying this blog out, giving it a chance, and putting my absolute all in this endeavor. Tip: Create a vision board or write down new ideas in a journal!
3. Work it out. Working out is something I've always enjoyed doing. Barre, yoga, running, cycle, you name it I've probably tried it. For a few years when I was living in Richmond, my personal trainer really motivated and pushed me to my limits. The lessons she taught me during that time still resonates today. I continue to use her techniques and methods in my workouts. When the routines become easy, it's time to switch it up. Currently, my new love is Cycle Bar, and it is one of the best workouts I've had in awhile! Keeping my health in check is very important, and being able to stay active reduces stress! Tip: Try out different exercise studios or gyms - Groupon has helped me with this one! See what routine works best for you and your schedule. Also, ensure that the gym of your choice holds you accountable, while ensuring your fitness goals are being met.
4. Select your tribe. I'm a firm believer in surrounding myself with good and positive people. I am so blessed to have amazing friends who push, as well as hold me accountable. Having a solid tribe really helps during the hard times too. For G and I we really saw the amazing people who stepped up during our "pits", and we are forever fortunate. When your tribe is winning and doing amazing things, don't forget to support them too. For example, Alisha and her hubby sent me flowers the day I launched my blog. That sweet gesture literally brought tears to my eyes, because she knew this was a major step for me! It is essential to have the right people in your life no matter the circumstance. Tip: "Birds of a feather flock together." It is super key to surround yourself with people who support your vision!

As you enter into 2018, begin thinking about what ways you'll conquer the New Year! What are some ways you plan on soaring in 2018?

Happy New Year!

XO, Analise

Maintaining Long Distance Friendships

"The language of friendship is not words but meanings." – Henry David Thoreau

I have some of the best friends in the world. Some of my close friends live in my city of Virginia Beach. Yet, my two closest girlfriends from college are the furthest away. They are like my sisters, and while they are not local, we still make time to touch base consistently with each other. Both of my girlfriends are about 4-5 hours driving distance. With that being said, Alisha, Tiffany, and I get pretty creative on ways we can see each other. Below I'm giving some tips on how I maintain my long distance friendships!

• Check-In Consistently. With one of my best friends, I speak to her about 5 days out of the week. My other bestie, we touch base once a week. Even though we have different schedules, it is super important to check-in and chat. Whether it is sending a funny GIF or just saying "Hey, are you alive girl", we make it a priority to talk about our lives and if anything is new. Also, you do not have to speak to someone everyday to know that they are your true friend. 
• Make Plans. My best friend Tiffany and I have this thing, where we meet up about once a quarter, in a midpoint location. It makes it super easy for us to not make the long commute to one another. We spend all day together, hitting some of our favorite spots and reconnecting - it's like we never skipped a beat! In order for this to work, we make plans sometimes 2 months in advance so that this is successful. She and I are both planners, with our busy schedules this method really helps!
• Be Patient. Life happens, and sometimes texts or calls aren't quickly answered. Know that your bestie isn't ducking your messages. For instance, my friend Tiffany, like myself works full-time. Also, she is now in graduate school, and is a new homeowner! This lady is super busy, so I'm very understanding that there may be some delays in her responses ... and it is really OK. 
• Stay True. Know that through it all you and your bestie have a special bond. Make sure you take the time out to touch base, and make plans to hang out when at all possible. For example, my best friend Alisha and I have a tradition that every Christmas we get together with our husbands and have a "Bae Christmas". It usually involves a lot of wine, good food, UNO, and exchanging some of the coolest gifts with our spouses. This tradition is one of the many ways we stay true to our friendship. Even our husbands love how we include them in the our special moments! 

What are some ways you keep in touch with besties who are far away?

XO, Analise